The last couple of days have been really tough, emotionally heartbreaking. My beloved queen, Tjojs, has not done so well with her back legs, but it has come and gone. Every time I have said to myself that now is the time, she has come trotting past me like, "What are you talking about?"
Wednesday, I could see her pain, even if Tjojs was a tricky one with high pain-tolerance level. I called and told my veterinarian now was the time, could he come tomorrow?
It killed my heart to see her mind being clear, still communicating with me and the pack, still being the dominant soul in the pack. But to see her pain, falling down the two steps outside, the difficulty not coming up very fast and well on the slippery floor. But the question kept running trough my head, "Was it the time?"
I struggled with the question. I certainly didn't want to take her too early. I cherish each day with her, and didn't want to "play God." I also worried about my ego causing me to wait too long, to condemn her to too much pain to satisfy my selfish desire to keep her with me.
She was my "mentor". We had so many adventures together; she was with me on radio and TV interviews, in many Magazines, She was used in my seminars and workshops, and was featured in all my three books. She was the queen of our pack here, and will be sorely, sorely missed by all. Bye Tjojs, see you across the Rainbow Bridge one day --- please wait for me! I love you, you were the Amore.
Tjojs: Sweden April 1996- Italy July, 2010 -- Rest in Peace, dear soul.
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